Friday, July 25, 2014

Fifty Shades of Shut the !@#& up.

BLAH!

I hate this whole "Fifty Shades of Grey" thing. The trailer just came out for the movie, set to open on Valentine's day 2015 and now everyone on the interwebz is talking about it (including me, I realize). I read the books, emphasis on the S; as there are more than one book. I read them for fun, for enjoyment. They were not well written, they were simple, easy to read, sexy - FUN. Did the characters piss me off? Yes. Did I think the writing was second rate, at best? Yes. Did I read them on vacation while I was laying on the beach? Yes.

Honestly, before today, this movie wouldn't have even crossed my mind again until my husband and I decide to rent it from Redbox some night next year when we have a full bottle of wine and the kids are tucked into bed.

The reason I'm talking about it today is because I made the mistake of reading an idiotic blog post written by a MAN about the four reasons why every WOMAN should boycott the 50 Shades movie. Let me just preface this by saying that after a little bit of exploration on his blog, it turns out that this man and I have VERY different opinions when it comes to marriage, sex, religion, etc. So clearly, his opinions on the matter are going to differ quite a bit from mine.

My first problem with this blog was that it was a MAN telling the women of America that they should avoid this movie. Because you know, we women can never have enough men telling us what to do.

My second problem with his position is that he never read the books. As I mentioned before, the writing is not superb, but I don't think that was the goal of the author anyway. Sometimes you just need to enjoy a book for what it is, but if you haven't even read it, how can you feel so strongly against it? I will agree when he says this is not art. That is true. It is not art. Is not meant to move you. It is meant to make you move to your sex dungeon, with your lover and an array of toys.

Third, he makes it about religion. I won't get into the debate surrounding this one, but I will say that my personal belief is that God (or whoever you prefer) created the act of sex to be enjoyed by both males and females and in many different forms - even if that involves a riding crop and two (or more) willing participants.

Fourth, he claims you aren't a feminist if you support the movie. Because this man, who is condemning women who decide to watch this movie, is apparently Feminist of the Year. Let me explain something- every woman has a choice to watch this movie or not. Every woman has a choice to read erotic novels or not. Honestly, I think this whole "Fifty Shades" phenomenon is a good thing for females. When the books came out, it was as though men all over were just learning that women enjoy sex outside of the context of the physical activity that takes place in a kitchen, shower, car, dark alley, bedroom. Wait, women like reading erotic stories? Women like sex? Women might actually enjoy watching pornographic scenes in a movie like this?! What kind of women are these? I'll tell you who - mothers, nurses, physicians, professors, social workers, scientists, philanthropists, teachers and the list goes on. Sex does not belong to men. Pornography does not belong to men. Arousal and excitement about sexual possibilities do not belong to men. So what if a woman enjoys being dominated in the bedroom? If I recall correctly, the main female character ENJOYED the sexual acts that occurred between herself and Mr Grey. Does that mean she can't be a feminist? I certainly don't think so.

For me, this debate is not about the Fifty Shades movie, but about what is and has been socially acceptable in terms of women's sexuality for years and years. The truth is, women are sexual beings with sexual desires that match or exceed those of our male counterparts. This book series and now movie just acted as an introduction of erotic entertainment for men and women into the social mainstream. Let's be honest, men and women alike have been reading and watching pornographic and erotic content for years. Stereotypically it has been accepted and publicized as having a male audience, but we are finally seeing that many women are also part of this audience. In my opinion, this should not be shocking. This should not be reason to boycott a movie or book. Is this movie going to harm the future of my children or my children's children? I find that very unlikely. So if you want to go see 50 Shades of Grey on Valentine's day with your husband, lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, best friend - please, enjoy it. And if you choose to forgo it in order to stay home and act out your own sexual fantasies, more power to you. As for me, I think I'll just stay in and watch PornHub with my husband instead. At least they are planting trees . If I can't be a feminist, at least I can be an environmentalist.